The Beginning Of Everything

Before making any new year's resolution, I decided that it is better to end this super eventful year 2011 by self-reflecting (while chatting with my BFF on Skype -.-).

My best moments in 2011:

1. Graduate from my beloved university, which signifies the end of my lazy-comfy-relaxing-freefromanything student life, which also means I am leaving that lovely small peaceful town forever ohnooo =(  I remember during the last semester I had been walking a lot in campus alone and reminiscing the four years that I had spent there (all the crazy, childish, immature, happy, hilarious, sad, emo etc etc etc moments awww). Sometimes I think I could have spent those years in a more meaningful way but no regret. Those years are still awesome.

2. Get to know some juniors better. Enough said. When you know more people whom you can truly connect to, the world just appears to be prettier miraculously. 

3. Spending the whole month (May 2011) doing crazy stuff at different places (Michigan, Wisconsin, Chicago) with my loved ones. Friends, thank you for giving me such wonderful memories. My love and gratitude for my friends are beyond words.

4. Meeting old friends in Australia. It is heart-warming to know that even after so many years we still keep in touch and the bond is still there. Love you mates.

5. A fulfilling-meaningful-dreamcomestrue adventure in South Africa. Needless to elaborate much. BEST trip ever omg. Experienced the heart-wrecking moments. Felt all the emotions. Reflect. Serve. Compassion. Respect. Selflessness. Friendships. Family love. Awesomeness. Everything still seems so surreal to me.

6. TFM journey. I would say this is probably the most life-changing experience in my life. My very own life trajectory is changed drastically after making the decision of joining TFM. Well, no turning back and the journey has been awesomely amazing so far. Tears. Joy. Craziness. Fatigue. Challenge. Inspiring. Angry. Overwhelming. Scared. Worried. Persevered. Friendships. Support. The two months that I had spent with 49 other awesome people up in Genting will forever be engraved in my mind. AWESOMESAUCE.

7. Catching up with friends. Friends really mean a lot to me but sometimes I cannot help myself from thinking that I am losing more and more friends after coming back to Malaysia. Everyone is walking on totally different paths now and I feel distant from them at times =(  Well, after all the wonderful encounters towards the end of the year, I begin to realize that people come and go, but in the end, what truly matters is treating every person sincerely and wholeheartedly when they are around. Still a long way to go to learn to be grateful and appreciative.

wow. so panjang lebar can die. My instinct tells me I should stop right now and go to bed so that tomorrow can have a pleasant journey back to the big blackhole Kuala Selangor. -.-

BUT, I shall end this post with a cliche New Year's resolution before I go back to the bottomless blackhole omg.

What I want to achieve in 2012:

1. Stay healthy

2. Spend more quality time with family 

3. Save more money (since my salary so little omg)

4. Sail through the challenges in school (always remind myself that everything I do is for my students)

5. Be positive and motivated 

6. Know more and more awesome people!

Good night peeps. 

and.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

The end of the beginning

I know it.

After the super emotional sharing during the last session this morning.
After several emotional breakdowns in front of my beloved TFM family during the sharing.
I know it's all over now.
That chapter of my life will be closed. Forever.
The darkest moment in my early childhood will be left behind.
Persevere. Be strong. Be positive.
Sincere thank you to all the TFM family.
It's always heart-warming that every time I feel sad or down, a handful of people will be there to support me spiritually.
Love all these awesome people.
*aww I feel like crying again*
:')

"Don't waste your hurt, appreciate it because it helps us to be a human." - one of the TFM fellows

一闪一闪亮晶晶 Part I

上个星期三我们让学生们填了一份问卷调查。
主要是想知道学生对Kem SKORlah和老师们的看法与感受。
其中有几道open-ended questions，问题大概是酱：如果你喜欢Kem SKORlah，它有什么特别之处吸引你呢？你觉得你的老师有关心你吗，为什么？
昨晚跟拍档一起翻看学生们的response，发现很多有趣又窝心的答案：
"Cikgu ada ambil berat terhadap kami sebab mereka selalu tanya soalan dalam kelas. Mereka selalu tanya kami faham atau tidak." - 哈哈！原来他们喜欢我们问问题吗？我们经常讲课讲到一个段落就必须stop to check for understanding，确保每个人都跟得上。每个人回答完我的问题，不管答案是对或错，我都会让（more like逼？）全班同学一起说"Good job (name)!" 我偶尔会选择班上较弱又比较安静的学生来回答问题，原本还蛮担心那些学生可能会精神紧张或反感，不过看起来他们还蛮喜欢的嘛。lol

"Saya rasa cikgu ada ambil berat terhadap saya sebab every morning mereka akan cakap good morning kepada saya sebelum kelas mula." - 很讶异地发现我们每天早上小小的动作或问候竟然能让学生有被重视的感觉。哇，我可得更小心自己的言行措辞，要时时注意学生们的感受与需求才行。毕竟孩子们都有颗玻璃心啊。

"Semua cikgu rasa saya adalah pandai. Saya yakin saya boleh mencapai matlamat Kem SKORlah kerana saya percaya saya adalah pandai." - 当我看到这个comment时，我都快哭了（dramatic wannabe）。因为这位学生算是班上学习进度比较慢的。犹记得Kem SKORlah刚开始时，这个孩子每天都躲在角落默默地写字，整个人好像很没自信的样子。我们担心他跟不上其他同学的进度，所以尝试了很多方法让他换座位啦、换组员啦、多鼓励他啦、一对一教学啦、还经常在班上问他问题。他很明显的有所进步，希望他以后能继续相信自己，勇敢地走下去。勤能补拙啊，孩子！

还有一些让我们笑爆肚的回答，在这边就不方便透露啦，下次若遇见我，我们再面对面谈吧！
好，要开工了，意味着下一篇blog可能是遥遥无期？

生活小插曲

（想说偶尔加几张照片装饰装饰一下就快干枯死掉的部落格也挺不错的。）

生日当天收到很多祝福。感觉好窝心 :)

超爱整个团队，像个大家庭。:')

刚度过超疯狂的practical第一个星期。很贴心的Training Team为我们准备的小纸条。<3 

不小心被拍下了。然后隔天就收到这个小惊喜。:) 

My workstation. :) 

We have a shout-out session and 'prize giving ceremony' on every Friday to celebrate the end of the hectic week. Pleasantly surprised, I received this award yesterday. Thank you Training Team! You guys are beyond AWESOME! With much love <3

一个都不能少 Part III

Institute Week 5
Kem SKORlah Week 3


星期五
昨天一连上了两堂INSPIRE sessions。
Amazing speakers. Mind blowing stories.
很感恩自己竟然能见到Tan Sri Dr. Jemilah本尊，更有幸能听到她那些激励人心的真实故事。
更更更高兴她以后会更投入参与Teach For Malaysia (she is one of the board members)。很期待再与她见面，听更多关于她的冒险故事。
昨晚过后，我一直在反省与反思自己一直在做的事。
然后很惊恐，也不那么讶异地发现自己似乎有点迷路的感觉。
反思这三个星期的教学，发现自己一直都在执着于教好每一天的objective。
教书、教书、教书。
如何教好这一课。如何让学生更明白这一课。如何让学生有所进步。如何。。。
是的。无可否认，好教师的必备条件是教好每一个学生，让他们考取好成绩。
But we are told that being a transformational teacher, we have to go far beyond the traditional expectations.
教了三个星期，我竟然还没有了解每个学生的背景，主要原因是从来没有主动地去了解他们。因为每天太忙于lesson planning，仿佛忙到没剩余的时间去关怀每个学生。
好。惭。愧。


"Trust dreams. Trust you heart, and trust your story." - Neil Gaiman