烦

今早得知没有办法申请到一个停车位，心很乱。
我的小蓝怎么办？每天日晒雨淋？担惊受怕？
担心晚上回来外面没有停车位。担心被人偷。担心被破坏。担心自己被打抢。

下午带着小蓝去百货公司躲避炎热的太阳。
结果竟然忘记把小蓝停在哪里。
在停车场里兜兜转转，很危险却没有办法。
折腾了好久，终于可以在小蓝里喘一口气。
偏偏这时候，家里又捎来电话。
妈妈问我一切还好吗。
故作坚强地讲完电话，一个人在车子里，眼泪开始在打转。

好累。好烦。好大压力。好空虚。好寂寞。
不知道我是为了什么才来到这个没有人味的城市。
我想回家。

眼泪转到一半却开始干了。
没有让自己脆弱的本钱。
应该再tough一点。
希望以后会更美好。

A double-period class in one day

- Scene 1 -

Teacher entered the classroom. Slowly put tones of stuff on the table. Students sat together in groups, playing chess or chitchatting like tomorrow's gonna be the end of the world. Nobody looked at the teacher.

T: (Try as hard as she could to put up a bright-till-you-turn-blind smile) Good afternoon class!

S: ...... (None responded. Some students sat like a boss, looked at the teacher in disdain. Some continued talking about their grandma stories.)

T: (Took a deep breathe and smiled again) Class~ Good afternoon~

S: .........(Some rolled their eyes)...tsk...G...ooood afternoooo..... (Slowly fading away) 

- Scene 2 -

T: Class, please take out your book. Today we're going to learn new things.

S: ...tsk... (Slowly moving their fingers/bodies. So slow until the teacher thought to herself: are they making a slow motion kind of animation?)

T: (Put up her bright-until-your-grandma-also-cannot-recognize smile again) Since we're going to miss quite a few classes during the PMR weeks, today we have to learn a lot of new stuff to prepare you for the end of year exam.

S: ...............................(Nobody was kind enough to at least look at the teacher or smile back at her. Slow motion move continued.)

- Scene 3 -

The teacher was explaining some grammar structures. Some students were chitchatting about how a boy next door was trying to hit on a girl next door. Some were staring at the teacher, with eyelids moving up and down quite frequently. Some were busy making the 'tsk' sound every once in a second. Nobody was actually listening to the lecture. Or responding.

One student took out her timetable and talked to her friend in a not-so-loud-yet-the-teacher-could-hear-it kind of tone: "Let's see, when are we direhatkan again ah? I don't care about other days, as long as we direhatkan on every TUESDAY then I'm so happy over the moon already."

They only have one double-period class with this particular teacher once a week.

And it's on a Tuesday.

- Scene 4 -

 T: Ok, now we are going to translate this classical Chinese article. Let's first copy down the original sentences....

One student talked to her friend in a not-too-loud-until-the-teacher-will-scold-but-the-whole-class-can-hear-it-including-the-teacher tone: "Copy. Copy. Copy. Always ask us to copy. Don't know what so good about copying. Copy got use meh?"

- Scene 5 - 

The teacher was teaching talking syoksendiri-ly about the classical Chinese article.

Student A: (Screaming at another student) Fxxk your mom lar!

T: Hey, no cursing at other person. Stop it.

Student A: (Turn to the teacher right away) I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! 

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Throughout the class, that teacher did not once raise her voice and yell at the students (even though she had been suppressing so hard). 

In the middle of the class, she did stop talking for a few seconds and let the class quiet down. And she continued teaching.

When the last bell rang, everybody just packed his/her bag and run out of class without asking for her permission. Nobody turned their head and bid goodbye to the teacher.

Quietly, the teacher packed all her stuff, wiped the whiteboard, switched off the fans, walked back to the staff room and went up to the Bilik Gerakan for a staff meeting.

There, she quietly wept.  

Oh students

Dang. I am so happy.
Those students are so adorable.
And I have so much fun teasing them.
Aww.

A random post

Read a post by one of the most interesting (at least to me lar) staff the other day and got inspired.
In short, I need to write more in order to improve my communication skill eh.
He said, writing comes first. Grammar and structure come later.
Yes, sir.

Quarter Life Crisis Confession V2

Yesterday when I was doing weekly housekeeping chores, I saw a baby lizard hiding in my room.
Damn.
As I was alone in the house, I had no choice but to 'handle' it on my own.
After spending half an hour battling with it, my room was in mess.
Phew.
Settled.

Then I received an interview invitation.
I was overjoyed at first since this is my first ever response from a company.
My heart sank when I read the details.
How am I going to go there? What to do when I don't have a car?
Lucky enough, a super kind friend offers help.
Phew.
Settled.

Then I had a little reflection at night.
When I know that I can only depend on myself, I HAVE to grow stronger.
Don't stay idle, keep praying and hoping there will be a prince charming coming to my rescue.
There is no such good thing. At least in my life thus far.

Become stronger, Lew Sheau Wen.