在南非的這段日子裡，曾經閃過一個很恐怖的念頭：當個清修士貌似還不錯。
如果被媽媽知道，她一定認為慈濟是個邪教團體，專門洗我們年輕人的腦。
不過說真的，當清修士其實也不賴嘛。
還認真地向學長與潘師伯請教清修士的事情。
是的。
中毒太深。
中的毒名为『法亲之爱』。
感谢此行在某种程度上治疗了心里的一些郁结。
心里头暖乎乎的。
想到之前自己还一直在乎一些有的没的，就觉得自己很可笑。
把握当下，恒持刹那。
至于一切人与人之间的因缘，就随缘吧！
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
冷飕飕的下午
这几天一直觉得背后凉凉的。
想偷懒，却仿佛看到至少三双急切的眼神，引颈期盼我的文章。
啊，不行！不行再这样下去！
得卯足全力赶完感想！
初步设定有三篇文章：南非德本篇，南非约堡篇，感恩师姑外加自己想法篇。
应该不太可能将这些文章公开让大家阅读（也不认为放在这里会有人看，呵）。
不过心里有个构思。
希望能为一些很有feel的照片加上几行文字的注解。
呵呵，光用想的都已让我精神抖擞数倍。
不过！
在那之前，得先完成作业！
闪走～
想偷懒，却仿佛看到至少三双急切的眼神，引颈期盼我的文章。
啊，不行！不行再这样下去！
得卯足全力赶完感想！
初步设定有三篇文章：南非德本篇，南非约堡篇，感恩师姑外加自己想法篇。
应该不太可能将这些文章公开让大家阅读（也不认为放在这里会有人看，呵）。
不过心里有个构思。
希望能为一些很有feel的照片加上几行文字的注解。
呵呵，光用想的都已让我精神抖擞数倍。
不过！
在那之前，得先完成作业！
闪走～
我把心，遗留在南非。
回来将近一星期。
本应交稿，却拖至现在还未完工。
这次不是思绪便秘，而是另一种奇怪的情绪在闹别扭。
很多很多想法、经历，萦绕在脑海里，却迟迟无法下笔。
可能是写作倦怠症吧。
一个星期了。
心里还牵挂着远在南非的一切。
总觉得自己没有离开过。
是什么让我停留许久，无法释怀？
南非家人们的爱？GoGo们的无私付出？爱滋孤儿渴爱的眼神？感恩户们无助的泪水？德本的碧海蓝天？约堡的极端气候？
将近三个星期的旅途，逼使自己去面对一直无法面对的残酷事实。
什么是地狱？不必待死后，在人间、在我面前就有血淋淋的人间地狱。
什么是天堂？不必待死后，在人间、在我面前就有活生生的人间天堂。
天堂与地狱，其实就在自己的心里。
在这片土地上，我终于明白何谓一念天堂，一念地狱。
看着本土志工满足快乐的笑颜，感受到她们心里的富足、轻安自在。即使她们在物质上可能比一些感恩户还要匮乏。
好想好想再回去南非，与慈济家人们一块付出。
我在心里许了一个愿。
有朝一日，我们还会再相见。
本应交稿，却拖至现在还未完工。
这次不是思绪便秘，而是另一种奇怪的情绪在闹别扭。
很多很多想法、经历，萦绕在脑海里，却迟迟无法下笔。
可能是写作倦怠症吧。
一个星期了。
心里还牵挂着远在南非的一切。
总觉得自己没有离开过。
是什么让我停留许久，无法释怀？
南非家人们的爱？GoGo们的无私付出？爱滋孤儿渴爱的眼神？感恩户们无助的泪水？德本的碧海蓝天？约堡的极端气候？
将近三个星期的旅途，逼使自己去面对一直无法面对的残酷事实。
什么是地狱？不必待死后，在人间、在我面前就有血淋淋的人间地狱。
什么是天堂？不必待死后，在人间、在我面前就有活生生的人间天堂。
天堂与地狱，其实就在自己的心里。
在这片土地上，我终于明白何谓一念天堂，一念地狱。
看着本土志工满足快乐的笑颜，感受到她们心里的富足、轻安自在。即使她们在物质上可能比一些感恩户还要匮乏。
好想好想再回去南非，与慈济家人们一块付出。
我在心里许了一个愿。
有朝一日，我们还会再相见。
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
It's time to say good bye.
Life is awesome. So far.
The awesomeness will multiply the day after tomorrow. I hope.
These few days have been busy reading through materials about Teach For program around the world, especially the one in India. After browsing through TFI fellows' blogs and reading the welcome packet from TFM, have a clearer picture on what my life is gonna be for the next two years. Is gonna be tough, challenging, yet fulfilling. Keeping fingers crossed for my future.
A lot of uncertainties lie ahead but no worries, I believe I can make it through :)
People might think that I am crazy for taking this career path. But social entrepreneurship is what I have always wished to do in my life. Totaly psyched that I can be part of this social movement. Crazy me.
A little confession to make here. Part of the reasons I am really excited to join the team is because of my own selfishness. I cannot wait to bid good bye to you. Inside me, I know best that if I continue living near this group of people the hurt will go on endlessly. It is totally not your fault, the fault is on myself. Don't know since when, I start to feel uneasy, unwelcomed, lonely, leftout, and any negative feeling you name it whenever I get any closer to you. Or, better to put it this way, I can never go near you even when I want to. I figured out our channels are just not right. Maybe we are not meant to be this close? Sorry to have thought so highly of myself and get myself hurt for no reason. Finally, the thought of being occupied for the next two years did give me a sigh of relief. I can stay away. I can hide. I can have a total new life. I can meet new friends. I can be positive and motivated all the time. Phew. Good bye. My friends. All the best in your life.
Sorry for this noob writing shit of mine. Have to start blogging in English or Malay, to prepare myself for intensive blogging of my teaching life for the coming years.
Till then, good luck in what your life! :)
The awesomeness will multiply the day after tomorrow. I hope.
These few days have been busy reading through materials about Teach For program around the world, especially the one in India. After browsing through TFI fellows' blogs and reading the welcome packet from TFM, have a clearer picture on what my life is gonna be for the next two years. Is gonna be tough, challenging, yet fulfilling. Keeping fingers crossed for my future.
A lot of uncertainties lie ahead but no worries, I believe I can make it through :)
People might think that I am crazy for taking this career path. But social entrepreneurship is what I have always wished to do in my life. Totaly psyched that I can be part of this social movement. Crazy me.
A little confession to make here. Part of the reasons I am really excited to join the team is because of my own selfishness. I cannot wait to bid good bye to you. Inside me, I know best that if I continue living near this group of people the hurt will go on endlessly. It is totally not your fault, the fault is on myself. Don't know since when, I start to feel uneasy, unwelcomed, lonely, leftout, and any negative feeling you name it whenever I get any closer to you. Or, better to put it this way, I can never go near you even when I want to. I figured out our channels are just not right. Maybe we are not meant to be this close? Sorry to have thought so highly of myself and get myself hurt for no reason. Finally, the thought of being occupied for the next two years did give me a sigh of relief. I can stay away. I can hide. I can have a total new life. I can meet new friends. I can be positive and motivated all the time. Phew. Good bye. My friends. All the best in your life.
Sorry for this noob writing shit of mine. Have to start blogging in English or Malay, to prepare myself for intensive blogging of my teaching life for the coming years.
Till then, good luck in what your life! :)
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